This, then, to be separated for ever from its greatest good, from God, and to feel the anguish of that separation, knowing full well that it is unchangeable: this is the greatest torment which the created soul is capable of bearing, POENA DAMNI, the pain of loss. I wandered with that manner, for the next hour or two, all over the place and looked, I have no doubt, as if I were ready for any onset. "What DID you do, you naughty, bad thing? Why in the world, to worry us so--and take our thoughts off, too, don't you know?-- did you desert us at the very door?" I couldn't meet such questions nor, as they asked them, their false little lovely eyes; yet it was all so exactly what I should have to meet that, as the prospect grew sharp to me, I at last let myself go. --But I told him I broke them, sir, and he pandied me.
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