Ritual Of The Moon Cheat

[Yolanda Perez]

Ritual Of The Moon Cheat

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About This Game

Ritual of the Moon is a 28 day long multi-narrative game exploring loneliness, power, and healing. Once discovering her powers, The Earth’s Council exiles the witch to th 5d3b920ae0

Title: Ritual of the Moon
Genre: Casual, Indie
Developer:
Kara Stone
Publisher:
Kara Stone
Release Date: 18 Apr, 2019

English

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This game gets my top tier recommendation. You basically 'play' for 3 minutes daily, and can only progress the story once a day for 28 days. Even if you do not load the game for a day, the game will advance without you. Gameplay is toddler level logic, but i believe that is by design. It is basically two lines of story, a meditative thought, and a decision to steer the comet away from Earth or let it hit. I am only 5 days in, but I look forward to loading it up for a few minutes everyday. The meditative thoughts are beautiful, making it my go-to before bed game. The art style is somehow awe inspiring and adds greatly to your brief get away into a strange situation.. This game gets my top tier recommendation. You basically 'play' for 3 minutes daily, and can only progress the story once a day for 28 days. Even if you do not load the game for a day, the game will advance without you. Gameplay is toddler level logic, but i believe that is by design. It is basically two lines of story, a meditative thought, and a decision to steer the comet away from Earth or let it hit. I am only 5 days in, but I look forward to loading it up for a few minutes everyday. The meditative thoughts are beautiful, making it my go-to before bed game. The art style is somehow awe inspiring and adds greatly to your brief get away into a strange situation.

Writing about R o t M : First, there is a new, very dramatic trailer out for Ritual of the Moon! Please get hype. Now, onto writing about writing. Not last summer but the summer before I wrote the first draft of an essay about the process of Ritual of the Moon, psychosocial disability, and time. It became two paper, one short and informal one on First Person Scholar [www.firstpersonscholar.com] , and one longer and more academic one in a special issue on queerness in Game Studies [gamestudies.org] edited by Amanda Phillips and Bonnie Ruberg. Both papers are amazingly open access! I'm really proud of this paper. Even though I'm an artist, my academic writing tends to be really dry (good for getting As in school but bad for being an artist-scholar), so being able to weave together theory, art practice, and personal experience helped enable me to experiment more with it. It also is the beginning of how I'm thinking through my academic projects and dissertation, which is about the regulation of affect and debility for profit of neoliberal capitalism done through videogames, and then imagining a different, healing form of game design based for psychosocial disability. I'll be starting to write that in earnest in the fall. In these papers I talk about the design process as it relates to the faux-division of craft and technology, and the labour of craft, but mostly I focus on time. Specifically, combining notions of queer time with crip time, the former being about the ways in which queerness can and has reformed chrononormativity, queer people's relationship to time and urgency, oscillating between no future (Edelman) and hopeful futures (Munoz). Crip time is a term used to describe theories of time and disability (almost always as they are formed by capitalist impositions) that make us recognize how expectations of long things take are based on very particular minds and bodies. This is felt in the affect of every day life, the mundanity of the labour to keep on living. As you might have read in previous #RitualoftheMoonReflections, I think this daily mundane is a site of debilitation but at that same time can be the most important site of resistance, healing, and recuperation. In the paper in Game Studies, I talk about quantum time, how quantum physics is currently understanding the non-linearity of time, but I won't try to sum that up here! I also talk about my feelings re: the game taking so much longer than I thought! An excerpt: "Ive spent a lot of the past two years agonizing and complaining. Oh my god I want the game to come out so much. Its a year over my estimation. Its not done. I really want it to be done. Im scared it will never be done. Im scared it will loom over my head for the rest of my life. Im scared I will put it out before its ready. How do you know when its time to let go? But Ive had to shift my thinking about it. Instead of hating that it isnt out yet, Ive started to tell myself that it needed time to be fully digested, for me and the team to fully understand it and do the idea justice. It needed time to transform. I tell myself that labour takes time. That love takes time. I needed time to strip it to the barest bones of meditation on healing the future. Im so used to making things in a hypomanic state: work work work, exhaust myself then be done. But the pace has to be different for this game because it is about a different pace. It is about daily dedication in small bits over long periods of time. It is about being confused, stuck, suicidal. It is about meditating for 5 minutes a day because over time that creates a ritual that sustains us. And maybe the game is waiting for the right time to be released. Maybe it is waiting for when it makes the most sense. Im realizing that it feels more prescient than ever. I know it is on so many of our minds, that push and pull between the desire to set the world on fire, giving up on it, and only caring for each present instant, and on the other hand, putting every ounce of ourselves into making the world better even if it feels fruitless, even when the majority seems against us. It feels befitting and relevant to consider the future of queerness, of racism, and of disability in North America and much of the world, at a time when living on the moon by yourself doesnt seem like such a bad idea." Now, it's almost out and I have new feelings about it! More on that tomorrow. 2 days until release.. The Altar : These images are some of the altars we tried out. As always when looking at early versions: wow, colour! Everyday the player must go to the altar to perform a ritual to receive that day's mantra. First one must arrange the altar objects in a specific way. This is a memory game that resets each week. On the first day, there will be one object. On the second, there will be two. The third, three, and then continued until 7. The player must press them in the order they appeared, so theoretically must remember the order they appeared. In actuality, you can just tap them all until you find the right one. I wouldn't want to lock people out of it really; it's more like setting an intention to link all the days together and start a pattern for that week. If you have played Ritual of the Moon at a gallery or festival, you would have played the "simon says' version which wee made specifically for exhibition, where you tap after it animates. and don't have to remember anything. After the memory game, there is the connect the dots part which I talked about in a previous #RitualoftheMoonReflections. Then the player receives their mantra for the day. There is about 60 different mantras - but I swear I always get the same 4! These mantras were woodburned by me 5 years ago. Some of the mantras are trite, some are dark and sad, some might ring true with the player. Because the game is about self-reflection on emotional states, the mantras are there to prompt that reflection. It's not a fortune, it doesn't have to be "true" to instigate self-reflection, just like tarot and astrology. It's more meaningful that you think about it and situate yourself in relation to the given information. 15 days until release.. On Confidence and Vulnerability : I've been confident that Ritual of the Moon is good for a long time. I'm often confident in my work. The very beginning is my most self-conscious time. I try to keep everything very sheltered and away from judgement, both from myself and others. Sometimes those initial ideas are really nothing and should never see the light of day. When they are something and when the general plan is outlined, I begin to be like, alriiiiight! Then after the first 1/3 of production I'm pretty constantly like, hell ya, this is great. But showing other people can still be difficult. My last project, the earth is a better person than me, is a way weirder and more personal game than Ritual of the Moon. It has explicit sex (with trees, none the less) and has an odd tone of humour, erotica, and self-hate. I was lucky enough to start the project in a graduate critique class where we all workshopped projects. The very first time I showed it, I was like nooooope what the fuck am i doing?? I knew I liked it, but it and I was very vulnerable. After the feedback which was really encouraging and had really useful critiques, I was in full out hell ya mode, and stayed that way until just before release. Then I felt vulnerable again and worried if people would like it. Even though I think earth person is amazing and should win a literary award and its most important that I feel proud of it, of course I still want other people to like it too. I'm at that pre-release vulnerability stage now with Ritual of the Moon. I've been confident for so long and now the fear is bubbling up! What if no one likes it? What if everyone hates it? What if no one knows how to play it? What if it's so buggy and doesn't work? What if no one plays it? There are some things I think are design flaws (which I won't detail just yet) but ultimately are fairly small. Because it's been like 4 years since designing parts of it, I can look back and think, well, I made that choice then but I wouldn't have made it now. It's not killing me. Overall I still love it. It's even easier to love than some of my previous projects because it was much more collaborative. The art and the music are soooo incredible that if I'm feeling down about the design or the writing, I can think to myself, at least nothing else of the app store looks this beautiful. At least people will open the app just to listen to the music. I think I have a good relationship to making art. Sometimes I'm insecure but that's fine. I try to be really cautious of not letting the insecurity prevent me from making an honest and experimental piece. Only one time in earth person did I change a storyline because I was worried what other people would think. I kind of wish I didn't, because that path is now my least favourite. So far in my lift, my financial well-being has not been dependent on my artistic success, which makes my intention to make weird, open, personal, honest art more feasible. It means I can make something that I would like, and hope others like it but my well-being isn't determined by if other people like it. Reading this post I probably seem overly confident. That's fine too. The confidence can help overcome the vulnerability needed to make the kind of work I want to make. (this post inspired by today's Nancy: 11 days until release.. Embroidered Text : I wrote the story of Ritual of the Moon in the first half of 2015. A few months later I hand embroidered all the witch's inner dialogue. It took about 5 of those embroidery hoops. Multiple people have told me I could have made a font set - I know I could have! But I didn't want to make a font set because I didn't want all the Es to look the same or the "the"s to look identical. I'm asking the player to play for 28 days, so what is 2 months of doing embroidery in my spare time? It was a great editing process. I had to be very thoughtful with the words I used and the space it took up, making it short and bittersweet as possible. Of all the parts of working on Ritual of the Moon, this was probably my favourite. I love writing and I love sewing by hand. I hope I find a reason to do something like this again. 16 days until release.. R o t M the RPG : Early in the design stage I did a little mock up in RPG Maker to get a feel for the layout possibilities and what the character moving through the space is like. It's really cute and honestly I want to play this game too. 14 days until release.. On deciding when to blow up and when to heal : The base idea for Ritual of the Moon came as I was fighting with a close friend. Or, I was fighting. She had no idea. I was feeling really abandoned and betrayed. I couldn't decide if I should keep putting loving healing energy and effort into our relationship or I should blow up at her and say fuck it. I don't think there's always a right choice between these two. I can stew over these kind of things for a long time. I can sometimes hate making decisions. Or, more accurately, sometimes it feels as if I cannot make a decision. I'll get stuck in loops of "what if", playing out scenarios over and over, flip flopping between options every hour, minute, or even second. It's really bad when I'm anxious. I'll get stuck in the no-decision loop. I'll think all day - or for days or for weeks - having the same repeating thoughts. I'll try to urge myself to make a decision, but I can't. If I try to make one, tell myself "ok, this is what I'm doing!" it won't stick. I can stare at a screen all day, trying to decide if I should book this flight or that flight. Tell this person that thing or not. Choose this PhD program or that one. Go to the grocery store or not. Doesn't matter how "big" of a deal it is, I can get stuck in it. Sometimes I have to call my mom and ask her to make the decision for me. So, I was stuck in that decision process about my relationship with my friend. How it turned out was, I passive aggressively let something slip, and then she pressed me on it and got me to tell her how I was feeling, and she then shared how she felt. And as a result we fully reconnected! One can look back now and say I should have just told her my feelings right away, but really sometimes it's so much effort to try to tell people how you're feeling, too much of that loving healing energy and effort, when you don't know if it will be accepted. It might seem like an easy choice to always protect the earth, but sometimes the earth deserves to burn. I have no answers on how to know when to do what. It's always changing. All I know is that for me, it's best to actually make a decision and not be stuck in between. 4 days until release.. Mini Games : Yesterday I wrote a little about the transformation of the mini-games. Before what they are now, a memory game and connecting the dots, there were 3 different mini games that the player had to do each day at different stations rather than just at the altar. This sketch is from 4.5 years ago so I don't exactly remember how they were supposed to work. The top left is weaving, the bottom left is tracing a rune, and then the elixir is somehow filling a bottle with different colours. These were never programmed, just in the initial design brainstorming. I do think there is something to the texture of tracing, of slowly dragging a finger across the smooth phone rather than frantic tapping tapping tapping. 25 days until release.. From One Full Moon To The Next : Happy full moon! You probably didn't sleep at all last night. I didn't. This is a big full moon for me because the next full moon will be the release of Ritual of the Moon. It's 29.5 days away. It takes the moon 27.3 days to orbit the earth but 29.5 days for the lunar phase cycle. Saying 28 is a nice middle ground. Over the next 28 days I'll be posting little bits of process work, reflections, documentation of exhibitions, and miscellaneous thoughts about Ritual of the Moon.. Pre-Release Feelings: Emptiness : The past few months, or maybe a year, I've been feeling very nihilistic. Not much matters. No matter how much yoga and meditation I do, I'm still stressed, in a culture that promotes stress, overwork, and individualized responsibility. No matter how healthy I am, I can dislocate a rib and still months later have limited mobility. Why not smoke cigarettes again? Why not skip meditation? Why not drink alcohol again? Why not throw this plastic bottle in the garbage bin right here instead of waiting til I find a recycling bin, because that recycling bin probably ends up in a garbage dump anyway. I recently finished a milestone exam in my PhD recently that I had been preparing for and dreading for months (a year?) but instead of feeling happy and accomplished and celebratory, I just felt empty inside. What was the point of all that work? Of all that stress? To check a box on my file? Hooray. I felt immensely happier and more fulfilled having dinner with friends that night than when my committee told me I got honours, something I had been secretly wishing I would but in reality gave me zero feelings other than emptiness. When people congratulated me, I was like "oh, sure." These feelings are carrying over to Ritual of the Moon. First though, there is worry. What if no one plays it? What if no one likes it? What if no one can play for 28 days, and the whole premise is flawed? What if there is a bug that we don't know about? But more prominent that that is my feeling of emptiness. What does it matter? No one will play it. It's already been to festivals and at galleries, maybe its time is over. It doesn't matter what I price it, something will be unhappy with the price. I've talked about R o t M so much but I'm making such a big deal over nothing. I put years of work and dedication, alongside other really talented people also putting in beautiful work and dedication, for nothing. Just to feel empty. Emptiness is a strange feeling. All feelings are hard to describe and don't really make sense unless you've experienced them. It can be either the feeling of missing something or that things are meaningless. I'm obviously the latter right now. Emptiness is often associated with depression, especially low level depressed feelings that exist in the every day, the slog to keep going, not necessarily sad. I personally am more prone to perfectionism, where everything matters too much, and I hold myself up to impossibly high standards. I think what's going on this year is the slowly growing belief that regardless if I live up to my high standards or not, it doesn't matter. Succeed or fail, whatever, i'm still sometimes anxious sometimes happy, and the earth is still doomed. Before I thought I had control over my life and my feelings, and it's seeming to me now that I have barely any. This really isn't necessarily a bad thing. Letting go of some perfectionism and control can be beneficial. Emptiness too isn't bad. For the past 2 years or so I've been wanting Ritual of the Moon to be over so I can open up space for new projects. That emptiness is space for the next idea, the next project, or simply space for the lack of pressure. In fact, tomorrow night the programmer Chris and I are going to do a ritual where we burn Ritual of the Moon stuff like prints of assets and scribbles of notes about my feelings on it, so I can completely empty myself of it. Show gratitude for the whole process and all I've learned from it, and then let it go. Soon Ritual of the Moon will be the world's, not mine, so I have no business holding on to it. 1 day until release.. On Ritual : These are images of different trials of the calendar. This is the non-black and white, not digitally manipulated raw wood burns. In the past few years I've been thinking about ritual, time, mundanity, and habits. My very first videogame, Medication Meditation, was about the boring daily labour of living with mental illness and the activities and rituals one must do to sustain life, such as taking medication every day at the right time, self-affirmations, and watching thoughts and letting them go. I can be ritualistic about work. In writing the earth is a better person than me, I only listened to one album over and over and over. I would put it on and then I would know it's time to write. (It's Angel Olsen's My Woman. It's one of my favourite albums ever but now I can't listen to it without being nostalgic about my time writing earth person in Tokyo). When I'm writing papers, I need to have my desk be set up in a specific way, a big mug of tea or kombucha, and put on some specific aromatherapy. I like some big rituals, like new years eve intention setting and burning sheets of paper with things I'd like to live behind written on them, but mostly I think the real transformation is in small daily rituals. For the past 4 or 5 years I have been a mostly dedicated practitioner of a kind of yoga called ashtanga, where you do the same thing every day 6 days a week (and not full moons or new moons because it's thought that injury is more likely on those days). My current life does not have a set schedule outside this, so it's been extremely beneficial to wake up everyday around the same time and do the same movements. The unchanging structure makes it so that I can become aware of the differences in my body, mood, and mind each day. Sometimes - and sometimes often - I can't do the full practice, but as long as I get to my mat then it "counts" because it is about the habit of doing it, of showing up and meeting myself where I'm at. I'd like to say that's how I begin my day, but really I begin my day by immediately looking at my phone. My alarm goes off, I turn it off, and then I I read any messages I got, or check twitter or if I'm really procrastinating getting out of bed, I answer my emails. I tell myself looking at my phone helps me wake up, but really it helps me delay getting out of bed. This morning ritual is really not doing me any good! I won't go into detail as to why but I think we all know it's a bad habit. I've tried sleeping away from my phone so I don't look at it, but I can't sleep without listening to podcasts or other media (silence? with my thoughts? while trying to sleep? not going to happen), and the alarm clock I bought it somewhat unreliable. And I'd just go pick up my laptop and phone and go back to bed anyway. So if I'm going to look at my phone in the morning, which it seems like I will, I'd much rather do a self-reflective activity like Ritual of the Moon. It leads me through some calming actions, gives me a daily mantra, and then I do make a choice based on my feelings that morning. Maybe one day I'll learn to live without my phone, but in the meantime I hope I can replace my bad habits with good rituals. 9 days until release.

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